Back-to-School with Teens: How to Make This Year Less Stressful and More Successful
- Holly Lynch
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Tips from an Occupational Therapist and Executive Function Coach
Remember when back-to-school season just meant picking up a supply list, buying a fresh pair of sneakers, and getting a quick haircut before the first day? But now that your child is a teenager, back-to-school feels a whole lot more… complicated.
Maybe their schedule is packed with tough classes, sports practices, weekend shifts, and a growing social life. You’ve loved the slower pace of summer—but you’re already bracing for late-night homework, PowerSchool notifications, and boundary-testing arguments.
This year, you want things to be different. But how do you actually make that happen?
As an Occupational Therapist and Executive Function Coach, I support families in creating sustainable routines that foster success without constant conflict. Here’s how to approach the school year with more connection, less stress, and a plan that works for everyone.
1. Start with a Calm, Honest Conversation
Before the first day of school, find time for a relaxed, low-pressure check-in with your teen. This doesn’t have to be formal—think car rides, porch hangs, or a chat over their favorite snack.
Planning is one of those executive function skills that doesn’t come naturally to all teens. Reflecting on last year and thinking through changes for this year is a great first step toward a smoother transition.
Try starting with questions like:
How do you think last year went?
What were some of the wins? What felt hard?
What kind of teachers or classes are you hoping for this year?
What are your goals—both short-term and long-term?
What will you need to do to meet those goals, and how can I support you?
Break tasks down into small, manageable steps and set some timelines together. Getting started with something new can feel overwhelming—so ask, What’s the smallest thing you can do to get the ball rolling?
For visual or neurodivergent learners—or teens with executive function challenges—writing things down during your conversation can be a game-changer. Use a whiteboard, a shared phone note, or jot ideas down on paper together.
2. Create Clear Expectations (Without the Drama)
Teens do best when they understand what’s expected of them—and when they feel part of the process. Work together to create guidelines that make sense for your family, with room for flexibility and accountability.
Topics to consider:
Phone use: Research shows that even having a phone in sight reduces attention, memory, and problem-solving. Where will phones be during homework or study time? What about at night?
Study time: When and where will schoolwork get done? Does your teen have a distraction-free place to work? Do they focus better right after school, or do they need a break first? Can you agree on a time to finish schoolwork that still allows for evening routines and good sleep?
Communication: How should your teen let you know if they need a ride or help?
Consequences: What happens if agreements aren’t followed?
Daily routines: Bedtime, meals, and morning prep
Life skills: What skills will your teen need in their next stage of life? Would you like them to take on more responsibility at home? Can they prep dinner once a week? Handle laundry or chores? Multi-step life skills build confidence and executive function skills like working memory, task initiation, prioritization, and organization.
Money matters: Will they contribute to gas, phone bills, or social outings?
Having expectations written down—on the fridge, in a shared folder, or on a whiteboard—helps everyone stay on the same page. Depending on your teen’s learning style and executive functioning profile, it may help to break down tasks like laundry or meal prep into smaller chunks. Some teens benefit from written directions, timers, or visuals showing what a completed task looks like.
3. Help Them “See” Their Time (and Strengthen Executive Function)
Many teens struggle with time management because they can’t see how their time is structured. Time blindness is real—and common among neurodivergent teens. It’s hard to get started when you’re unsure whether something will take 30 minutes or two hours.
Helping your teen build this executive function skill starts with reviewing a typical week together.
Try this:
Look at your family calendar and your teen’s commitments: school, sports, work, and social plans.
Block out time for homework, rest, and fun—with their input.
Use a shared digital calendar or a large wall calendar to stay organized.
Set aside time on Sunday night to prep for the week: empty backpacks, update calendars, plan meals or rides.
The type of calendar your family uses depends on your needs. Digital calendars are great for quickly adding events while you're on the go. They give your teen a clear picture of how time is being used, with color-coded events that visually represent their length.
However, paper calendars can offer unique benefits. Writing things down by hand supports memory and focus. Wall or desk calendars let the whole family view the month at a glance—helpful for tracking deadlines, appointments, and extracurriculars. And unlike digital tools, paper calendars don’t come with distracting notifications.
For the best of both worlds, have each family member take a photo of the calendar at the beginning of each week so they can reference it when away from home.
Having a consistent planning method not only builds executive function—it also reduces last-minute stress (for both of you).
4. Choose the Right Supplies (Not Just the Fun Ones)
We all love new school supplies, but what your teen actually needs may look different than the elementary school lists.
Top picks for function and organization:
A sturdy plastic folder with two pockets: one for homework to hand in, one for papers to bring home.
A three-ring binder with folders for each class: Choose a size your teen is comfortable carrying, especially if they don’t have a locker.
Colorful binder paper: A simple but powerful tool to make important notes stand out, provide a sensory break from bright lights, and improve recall.
Remember, less is often more—especially for teens juggling a heavy workload or carrying everything in one backpack (I see you, Mount Pleasant middle schoolers!).
Final Thoughts: Prioritizing Emotional Regulation
The teenage years can be intense—but also full of potential. When you prioritize connection over correction, and structure over stress, you create space for your teen to thrive—emotionally, socially, and in terms of their executive function development.
Emotional regulation is one of the foundational executive function skills—and I would argue the most important. Modeling and teaching these skills gives your teen practical tools to manage tough moments.
Breathing exercises, mindfulness, or quick somatic tools can all help your teen (and you!) build resilience and stay present in a complex world.
Want more support?
I offer executive function coaching and occupational therapy for teens and adults in Mount Pleasant and across South Carolina. Let’s build habits and routines that actually work.
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